When I found out that Ash at More than Cheese and Beer chose "Little" as today's topic for Sunday Confessions, I felt it was my duty to write about this topic. After all, I am an expert of all things little. If you have never seen me in person, let me spell it out for you: I'm only 4'11". Yes. That's four feet and eleven inches tall.Not only do I have the stature of a third grader, but I also have a baby face. These two factors create a considerable amount of confusion to adults and children alike. People can't figure out what the hell I am. Is that a small adult with a baby face or a mature third grader with breasts? That is the question lingering in each person's head upon having an interaction with me. I love that my physical appearance is so damn baffling. Seriously. This is an entertaining life. Not everyone can say that they completely confuse the living crap out of people on a daily basis...just by existing.
Here is an example of a time that I convinced someone that I am indeed a sophisticated child. I work with little kids. One time, this little preschool student stared at me with a puzzled look on her face as I read the class a story. I could tell that she was confused about something, and I figured that she must have been confused about the plot of the story. Soon I would find that my assumption was inaccurate, because when I finished the story, she raised her hand and said, "You act like a grownup." Apparently she thought I was a preschooler, and she was quite impressed with my adult-like sophistication.
In the midst of their baffled state, people like to comment on my size quite frequently, and I have gotten used to it. Here is a list of questions people ask me, along with my answers to those questions.
So, are you a midget?
No, I am not a midget. I'm just short. My body is quite proportionate. Thanks for asking.
Do you know that you can get a handicap sticker for your car?
I don't think so.
Where do you buy clothes? Baby Gap?
No. They only have baby clothes. I buy my clothes where everyone else does, but I shop in the petite section. I may be short, but do you really think I can fit into a 3T?
Are there other short people in your family?
Yes. That's kind of how genetics works. Are there other average sized people in your family?
So there you have it. I'm little, and it confuses the bejeezus out of strangers on the regular. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.