Sunday Confessions: Little

Sunday, March 30, 2014

When I found out that Ash at More than Cheese and Beer chose "Little" as today's topic for Sunday Confessions, I felt it was my duty to write about this topic. After all, I am an expert of all things little.  If you have never seen me in person, let me spell it out for you:  I'm only 4'11". Yes. That's four feet and eleven inches tall.

Not only do I have the stature of a third grader, but I also have a baby face. These two factors create a considerable amount of confusion to adults and children alike. People can't figure out what the hell I am. Is that a small adult with a baby face or a mature third grader with breasts? That is the question lingering in each person's head upon having an interaction with me. I love that my physical appearance is so damn baffling. Seriously. This is an entertaining life. Not everyone can say that they completely confuse the living crap out of people on a daily basis...just by existing.

Here is an example of a time that I convinced someone that I am indeed a sophisticated child. I work with little kids. One time, this little preschool student stared at me with a puzzled look on her face as I read the class a story. I could tell that she was confused about something, and I figured that she must have been confused about the plot of the story. Soon I would find that my assumption was inaccurate, because when I finished the story, she raised her hand and said, "You act like a grownup." Apparently she thought I was a preschooler, and she was quite impressed with my adult-like sophistication.

In the midst of their baffled state, people like to comment on my size quite frequently, and I have gotten used to it. Here is a list of questions people ask me, along with my answers to those questions.

So, are you a midget?
No, I am not a midget. I'm just short. My body is quite proportionate. Thanks for asking.

Do you know that you can get a handicap sticker for your car?
I don't think so.

Where do you buy clothes? Baby Gap?
No. They only have baby clothes. I buy my clothes where everyone else does, but I shop in the petite section. I may be short, but do you really think I can fit into a 3T?

Are there other short people in your family?
Yes. That's kind of how genetics works. Are there other average sized people in your family?

So there you have it. I'm little, and it confuses the bejeezus out of strangers on the regular. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

MoreThanCheeseandBeer

8 comments:

  1. Someday, we'll meet. And we'll hold hands in public and people wont know if you're my girlfriend or my child. Which is creepy and weird and will be totally fun...especially when I buy you drinks. Hahaha. Thanks for linking up again!

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    1. HA HA...That will be amazing! I have some tall friends, and sometimes they end up wearing heels when I'm wearing flats, which totally makes it look like I'm their child. It's ridiculous. I can make anyone look tall though. It's a gift.

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  2. I'm 5' 7ish" and I had a friend who was about your height in college. She was the head cheerleader. My roommate in college was your height too, and she had two of the best football players fighting over her. I wished I was the cute short girl because you always get the guys.

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    1. I always secretly wished I was the cheerleader type or was in gymnastics so that I'd have a reason to be so short. I was too uncoordinated and definitely lacking some pep that is required to participate in the said activities. I always thought the guys liked the taller girls..or at least the ones that are taller than 5 ft. Ha ha.

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  3. I'm 5'7, 26 years old, and wear age-appropriate makeup, and i still get people asking me "What grade are you in?" I'm like uhh I graduated college 4 years ago bro.

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    1. The nerve of some people! Yeah people pretty much always think I'm a kid until I open my mouth.

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  4. One of my ex-girlfriends was 4'11''. She always made sure to tell me how fortunate I had it to be from a family of "tall people". My dad is 5'7'' and my mom is 4'10''. I still haven't figured out how I'm 5'9'' and my brother is 6'1'' (I'd say we're bastard children, but if I grew a beard, I'd look like my dad).

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    1. Ha ha I totally understand her definition of tall people. I can make anyone look tall. Every once in a while, my fiance will see someone that is actually shorter than me somewhere. He's always excited to tell me about it, and I end up feeling like I won some kind of award...a really lame award.

      Height is sometimes a mystery in families. My fiance's brother is way taller than everyone in his family too, and nobody knows how the hell that happened.

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