Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Cracker: AKA how to be a horrible friend

When we were kids, my sister and I used to make our friends play this game we called The Cracker. It was a fun game for us--for our friends, not so much. After reading the game instructions below, you will quickly come to the conclusion that we're a couple of assholes.

How to play The Cracker

Number of players: 2

Object of the game: Make your opponent gag.


  • Player 1 must take a Saltine cracker out of the snack cupboard. 
  • Player 1 must then search through the condiments until she is sure she has come up with a truly disgusting combination of condiments to dress the cracker with. The grosser, the better. 
  • Player 1 must present the cracker to their unlucky house guest AKA Player 2. 
  • Player 2 must take at least one bite of the cracker and swallow said bite without gagging. 
Hints: My sister and I are always Player 1, and we never lose. Bonus points for adding extra horseradish. 

I guess now I get why my friends didn't come over very often. It's all making sense now.

The formatting is driving me apeshit. I shall fix it at some point. 

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